Wednesday, April 24, 2013

God's Roller Coaster

How can you describe a roller coaster to someone who has never been on one? How can one fully explain the ups and downs, the sensations of heaviness, of weightlessness, of turns, disorientation, and the feeling of your stomach leaving your body.
If you've experienced this you know. Maybe you can feel the sensations, maybe it fills you with excitement to recall it, maybe it fills you with dread. How I will view this ride when it's all said and done, I'm not sure. It will likely have a great deal to do with how I handle it during the ride itself, and how prepared I was before it came and swept me away in the first place.

My roller coaster has consisted of:
*A new baby BOY!! Well, not so new anymore, he is almost 9 months old. He is our first boy and absolutely precious.
*A five year old daughter who had a kidney infection and was hospitalised and now, going on 6 months with recurring fevers reaching almost 106 and no diagnosis in sight.
*Hubby being laid off all winter.
*Hubby getting a new job paying substantially less.
*Hubby experiencing health issues preventing him from working many days, and now getting so many tests to find out what is wrong he's been missing more work. So far CT scan, lung capacity test, blood work. Next, MRI and scope of his stomach. They have ruled out a brain tumor, but they are still looking into MS, stomach cancer, and other possibilities.
*Moving (praise God our Church family offered us the house on the Church grounds when it came up for rent, and it is the perfect for us home!)
*Grandfather in the hospital with heart problems.
and now....
*God nudging us in a direction of service that would mean my husband leaving the workforce and us depending on God entirely for provision. We aren't prepared for this. If my husband misses even a day of work we have to decide between cutting out meals or not paying a bill.

So how do you walk steady when you're getting off a roller coaster, and how do push yourself forward and jump on the next one when your head is still reeling from the last ride? Especially when you feel your eyes stuck closed and you can't see how fast it's going, or how many turns, loops and possible dangers you might encounter. How do you decide to get on, when you so desperately wanted off the last one? Do you plant your feet and say no, or do you jump on, throw your hands in the air and let it carry you through?

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