We forgot. We forgot about HIS plan, we forgot about HIS blessings, we forgot about HIM!
My husband and I have had a very tough week. It's been coming to a boiling point for a few weeks, and this week, that was it. It's like we couldn't even look at each other without getting upset about something.
Why? I'm sure there were a lot of little things leading up to the 4 days of complete madness, Christmas, throwing our schedule and routine out the window while family visited, hubby not working for the past 3 months, me being pregnant hormonal and averaging about 5 (at most) interrupted hours sleep a night, everyone being sick for the past few weeks. There are a lot of little reasons, but only one that sums it up, only one that matters....we forgot! We forgot about God, and we forgot about HIS plan for our lives.
I got up this morning so numbed from the past week, and having given up completely. What was there to look forward to today? What point was there in even trying to make it work anymore, no matter how hard I tried, nothing would work out anyway (and by that, I mean nothing was going to work out how I wanted it to.)
Hubby had a change of heart, and felt led to let me take a few hours, come downstairs and spend time looking at scripture, blogs and to do some writing.
I felt I would find something to make me feel a bit better, but I didn't think everything I looked at within the first 10 minutes was going to lead me down the exact same path and bring me back to where I should be, I had no idea how off track we had become and how quickly and easily we had forgotten and been led astray.
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matt. 7:13-14
We have to be on guard constantly. There are so many things trying to pull us off the narrow road, it is so easy to be mislead, and it is so so easy to simply forget when you start becoming caught up in your own plans, and your own way of doing things.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
How could I forget this? One of my favorite verses, the one He keeps bringing me back to, time and time again, His constant reminder to me, and I just forgot.
I want to thank some of you for being a light to me today. To being a part of directing me back to the path I knew I should be on, but had forgotten about.
Thank you firstly to the Anonymous poster who left the comment on my post Stay at Home Mom vs Working Mom...from a been there done that mom. You were my first reminder today that we need to follow HIS plan for us, and not our own.
Second thank you is for the post It's Late...I'm Emotional...Here it goes on My Simple Walk. You were my first reminder today of the life that God has planned for us, what we've been striving for the past couple years, as well as a reminder of the contrast of how we've been living this past month as opposed to how He wants us to live. You lit the fire under me to get up and strive to start living the life He wants us to have again.
God made it very clear a couple years ago that He has simplicity as the design for our life. I know He wants less stuff, and more Him in our life. I know He wants us to live a simple life, less dependent on the provisions of the world and money, and more dependent on Him, and His provisions of the land and His mercy.
Third thank you for the post Choose the Better Things on A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, I haven't even made it to the links you were referring to, but your words touched me as they so often do. You reminded me today that there is hope and that His plan will be accomplished through HIS strength and not through our own.
Fourth thank you is for the post Why I Write on Singing Through the Rain. I felt very very led by God one night a few years ago. I felt Him telling me to write, I felt that this was a purpose and a plan He had for me. The first thing I ever remember wanting to be as a child was a writer, when other girls dreamt of being ballerina's, I wanted to be an Author. I thought maybe this was just my past desires coming to the surface, and not Gods leading so I set it aside, but it popped up continually over and over.
I didn't know what His plan in writing was for me, but I finally started this blog and it has helped my relationship with Him tremendously. I don't think His plan for my writing is necessarily this blog. It takes too much time away from His other definite plan for me as a wife and mother of what will likely be many children. I can't commit myself to both, at this time. But having this here as a way to draw closer to Him when I feel led to write and the connection I feel to Him when I do write helps me know that writing is in His plan for me, in some form, and I know that I'm meant to write for Him.
Funny, He firstly reminded me that it's HIS plan we're to follow, not ours, secondly He reminded me what it was He had planned for us. Next He reminded me that His plan will be accomplished through Him and His strength and not through our own attempts, and lastly that He is my release, He is my passion, that we should do all this, all He asks for Him and His glory not our own.
Thank you to you all for helping me to remember!