Thursday, November 4, 2010

Does your daughter know beauty? Do you?

What is true beauty?

I'm still thinking on how far we have come in society from where we should be. Does anyone know? I'd really like the answer.

As women (especially the young women), how did we go from wanting to look like this, and finding beauty in a quality of spirit, character and works.... wanting to look like this, and finding beauty in a quantity of looks from men, makeup, new clothes, and the right accessories?

When did getting the latest fashions become more important than helping the poor? When did shopping become a hobby and a sport? When did it start mattering what you carried diapers, and car keys around in? When did these young girls and women start thinking so many unnecessary things or harmful things were important?

As Christians, I know a lot of us have views on beauty being that of character and virtue, but I've been to a lot of churches where this doesn't seem so. I've seen women who lead bible studies who spend the whole service talking about their new designer diaper bags or shoes. Ladies, what are we doing? What are we allowing to happen to our little girls, and ourselves? What lies are we listening to?

Now I'm sure some of you single ladies will be thinking, well you're married, you don't know what it takes to get a man.

# 1. What you think you need to look like or have to attract a man is a lie and men find it ridiculous. (And if they don't, they are NOT the men you want, trust me).

#2. I was single once, and I WAS that yellow dressed diva for many years, I've seen both sides of this case.

Yep, I WAS the yellow dressed picture. I had the fancy clothes, the trendy purses, the expensive make-up, the tan, the big sunglasses, the perfectly dyed and straightened hair. I had the guys I thought "I" was stringing along, the Starbucks in one hand and the cell phone in the other. I was thin and pretty, and thought I had it all, I pretended I had it all... I was miserable. I was listening to all the lies of what I needed to be, what I needed to do, and what I needed to have. I still struggle with this some days, thinking I would look or feel better if only I had new clothes, new makeup or a nice tan. Beauty is an addiction that God has cut out of my life. Now, I rarely wear makeup, and when I do it's fairly minimal, I don't have any new trendy outfits because I haven't been clothing shopping for myself in ages. I haven't had my hair done in years (dyed or cut). I'm lucky to get a chance to wash it, never mind style it. It sits, most days, in a messy bun a top my head, and my husband tells me almost daily how beautiful I am to him.

Those whispers I listened to, the ones you're listening to, they're lies. When my husband met me, I was slowly coming down from these lies a bit already, he still found my ways ridiculous, but saw something deeper there, a potential, and risked falling for some broken trendy diva anyway. Most don't ladies, most run from women like that. They'll take them home for the night, maybe even string you along for a bit. But that yellow dressed girl, is not someone most decent men will ever want to marry.

Of course you don't care about that either, because you're listening to other lies as well, telling you all about men, and your rights, and that you're not doing any of this for anyone but yourself, am I right?

Young women are not letting their hearts speak true, and they're not listening to God. They're listening to the lies, and to the latest pop stars and advertisements, and peers who are only listening to the lies, and the advertisements and the latest pop stars, and peers who are listening to the ... do you see the pattern here?

We took our daughter out of public school last year and began homeschooling. In those few short months, she went from being all about the latest music ( I didn't even know she was hearing this music, good ol peers and ipods), boys, clothes and "being cool," to being left to make up her own mind about such things. Now most of the time she chooses girly skirts, and is at this moment listening to a Disney princess sing along CD. A far cry from Katie Perry and Lady Gaga! And this is what SHE chose. When not being whispered to about what it would be "cool" to be like. She chose to be a little girl, not a pop star!

Our girls don't want to be that yellow dressed girl, society is telling them they need to be. Shame on us for letting it happen, and following it ourselves.

I know a lot of you are very big into making sure you're daughters do not become that girl, but what about the other daughters. I feel so saddened that any girl has to go through this, and truly believes that is beauty, and never really sees her true potential of how beautiful she could actually be. Isn't it our job as Christian women to do something? I wish I knew what.

Next time ladies, that you're out shopping, remember the lies. Next time you see an ad for a great new mascara, remember the lies. Next time you want that outfit that's maybe just a little too low, too tight or too short, remember the lies. When you try on that outfit that makes you feel "sexy" question yourself if that's really how you want to feel, and remember the lies. Next time you think about listening to those lies, remember the little girls eyes that are watching you, the little eye's that think you are beautiful.

1 Peter 3:3-4

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight

1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Proverbs 31:30 - "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

I would love to know what lies you think we as women are hearing and following. I may use them in an upcoming post.

This post is part of these wonderful link ups.....Raising Homemakers Homemaking Link up........ Making your Home Sing Monday..and..Finer Things Friday!



  1. You are a wonderful mother/wife/sister in Jesus,and i am thankful for the day i met you and for the Lord bringing us together.

    Through you and the girls he has shown me how selfish i am,how to be patient,how to be kind,he has taught me humility and sacrifice,faithfulness,respect,and by teaching me all those he has shown me how to truly love.

    Not that i still dont need a TON of work =P
    Proverbs 31: A Wife of noble character

    "Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

    "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

    thank you for being my wife and putting up with me.

  2. Hey Jessica, have you read the book Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss? I think you would get a lot out of this book. In my life B.C. (before Christ) my appearance was VERY important to me (NO one saw me w/o makeup!). The Lord dealt with me on this issue of vanity soon after I came to know Him. I now have 7 daughters (and 3 sons), and I help them focus on what the Lord looks at...the HEART. P.S. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! :)

  3. It's so funny you say that, because I remember having that book in my hand once, but decided to wait for another book that was coming in. That one seems to have come across my path a few times actually. I guess I better look into it. :)
    I'm so glad I've come so far from what I used to be with God's help and instruction. This was definetly an area He has and still is working on me with. I can't imagine raising my 4 beautiful girls as "that" woman. I'm glad they see me makeup free and more like the woman God made me. Still learning, but getting there. ;)

  4. What a precious comment from your husband!

    I was once asked to do a talk on purity for the junior and senior high school girls and their moms (and my husband spoke to the boys separately).

    I loved being able to share with these beautiful young gals, who truly had no idea about how beautiful they really are inside. As you said, would you REALLY want a man who only cared about your outward appearance?

    Thanks for linking up to Making Your Home Sing Monday!

  5. Jumping over from Hip Homeschool Hop! I loved this post! :)

  6. Wow what a amazing pot! I love the way you write and LOVE what the Lord have taught you and your willingness to share it with us all :-)

    If this computer could talk you would have heard me say AMEN a couple of time and tears of joy just because this is a beautiful topic :-)

    Have a blessed day!

  7. It's so true that what society wants women to be is not what men, much less God, find to be good. That woman is what a man would take home for the night, but not what he would want his mom to meet!

    Although, like everything, we need to find balance. Ecclesiastes 7:18 says "It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes." Although I don't care how my hair and makeup looks most days, I do like to look nice once in a while (especially for my husband) and take care of myself. I keep my hair manageable (I get it trimmed at Great Clips once or twice a year), and put on light makeup for church, as well as making sure my clothes look decent (but modest!). I don't want to give the impression that I'm in and of the world, but I don't want people to be turned off by my looks and think that all Christians don't care about their looks either. It's all about balance! :)

    Great post!