Saturday, December 12, 2009

Cleaning House in my Soul

I have had a rough few weeks. Crumby weather, baby blues, cabin fever, sleep deprivation. It's a lot to try to push past, and I haven't been doing a good job of it.

I've been trying my hardest, but quite obviously that's the wrong way to go about things. I've been trying, and not letting God do what He does best. Who am I to think that I can do this on my own, and why stress over doing it on our own, when we can simply give it to God.

The past few weeks have been a HUGE lesson in control for me. I don't need to control everything, but I'm learning I really do have to feel like I have control of something, and unfortunately for me, God has been using these past few weeks to remind me otherwise. Nothing is in my control, except for how I choose to feel and react.

I feel like I've been a child having a tantrum with my Father for not allowing me to have my own way, and darn it I really enjoyed getting my way. So I know if I ever want to get my way again, I'm going to have to start having my way be His way, because regardless of how much I fight it, Father knows best.

I see now where He's going with this. Pointing out my childish sides not only to help me grow and be a better mother, but to understand my children better.

I can feel this is the beginning of Him completely cleaning house with me, and let me tell you, it's been a rough start. This is a messy dirty house. He's not even to the scrubbing and dusting yet. He's got to get all this stuff out first. It's packed full of unnecessary stuff, causing burdens and bogging us down. If He's just in the clearing out the clutter part right now, I'm a little worried about what's going to happen when He gets down to scrubbing it clean, but I'm pretty excited about the outcome.

I find it quite comical that as God is cleaning house with me, and clearing the clutter, that we've been doing the exact same thing with our actual house, and again, I'm pretty excited about the end result.

I am so thankful that God put my husband in a place where he was able to put up with me during this time. If God hadn't have brought my husband closer to Him during this time, the past few weeks would have been like a wrecking ball coming through our marriage, but instead it's been bringing us closer.

When I first sat down this morning, not knowing what to write, I felt that it was going to be on pushing through distractions to spend time with God. I was having a hard time focusing, and didn't know how I was going to hear anything from Him. It turns out that I did need the peace and quiet to come to the realizations from Him, and I don't think right now that's a bad thing. I think He likes being able to have our undivided attention, and that we miss out on a lot when there are distractions.

Here is another blog I'd like to share. I came across it before writing this, when I looked up Peace and Quiet with God. It helped me to realize where God was going with His work in me lately.
Dec 10 2008Be a Transformer
Published by tracycharles
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12: 1-2
We started discussing flexibility yesterday, and then today, I discovered that “flexibility” is even a topic under God’s promises.
Life can make us crazy, can’t it? Pulled hither and yon, one direction to another, so fast we lose sight of what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s good, what’s bad. A dear friend reminded me today what we need to do when life gets like this. We just need to put on the brakes and STOP. Ask God where He’s leading us, which direction He wants us to go.
Sometimes, that direction may be upstream, against what everyone else is telling you to do. Sometimes, it may be in line with everyone else. But we’ll never know until we ask God, will we?
He wants us to be TRANSFORMED.

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